THE RAIN IN SPAIN

It is an absolutely beautiful, bright sunshiney day. There is a nice breeze blowing and the teperature is right around 80 degrees. This is spring in Burbank.

About 4 months ago I switched from my cable company to Directv which is a much better deal for a lot less money. BUT, Directv doesn't have The Weather Channel. Initially I didn't think this was going to be a problem. I mean, I've got 5 HBO channels and every other channel I had with cable - more even! BBC America is one of my new favorite surfing spots. Have you seen The Office? It's terrific television and they've got Monty Python's Flying Circus, well, it doesn't get any better than that.

But I am jonesing for the Weather Channel. I had no idea how seriously addicted I am to meteorological charts and the moving maps showing the highs and lows as they follow each other across this mass of land we live on. Since my part of the mass sits next to the Pacific Ocean, SoCal gets warm tropical storms from Mexico and freezing arctic storms from the north. I used to have intimate knowledge of what was going on - weather wise. I know that if it's really hot and clear it's because of the "high" lingering over the southern California region. If the days are gray and humid I know this is because there is a "low" stalled overhead.

I used to wake up and turn on the weather channel first thing in the morning. I was never unprepared. My information was up-to-the-minute accurate. But in the months that have passed I have found myself without a sweater, or worse without an umbrella! Because I no longer get the "allergy map" I don't take my Claritin until it's too late.

Last night I scrolled through the myriad channels on Directv to see if perhaps I had just missed it. But no, there was no weather channel with helmut haired lady anchors in spring pastel colored suits. No men with plastic hair and bottle tans expounding on tornado season in the midwest. No one to tell me whether or not it was raining in Spain.

And there was nothing I wanted to watch on any of my HBOs!