Wednesday, September 28, 2005


I don't think I've ever gone this long without writing. It feels horrible. But at the same time you've got to go out and do stuff to write about you know? I was thinking about that in the shower just now. That's the kind of day I've had. I just now took my morning shower. And I'm just now writing here, something that I set an intention to do this morning. Hey, at least I'm not going to bed without doing it. Anyway, in the shower I was thinking about writing because if I'm not writing I'm thinking about how I should be writing. I was thinking about how writing is this solitary thing that you do alone in a room...well, I do it alone in a room, and how if you spend too much time alone in that room you have nothing to write about except stuff you've already done. Lots of the time I can't remember if I've already written here about stuff I've done. I have a fear of becoming one of those people who tell the same stories over and over again because they don't have any new stories.

So I've been collecting some new stories.

But I'm tired and ready to go to sleep so I'm going to share something I got from a friend the other night.

Okay I've written some sample profiles for myself and I need your opinion.

Shy gal who likes dominoes, philately, and role-play games looking for handsome blue collar worker. I have quite a bit of house cleaning that I'll need done and I hope you are not put off by the outfits I'll require you to wear as you clean. I don't like dirt. If you don't clean well you will have to do it again and you'll be spanked the entire time. In addition to my OCD, I have several phobias that some find disturbing. Lastly, I'm totally shaved.

Hey Mother Fucker! Are you unemployed, in debt, excessively hairy, covered in flop sweat, prone to sudden violent outburst, partially or completely toothless, unwashed, unimpressive, in favor of polygamy, talented in nothing, interested in even less, and in possession of a wide array of poorly concieved sex toys?
Well I like blindfolds, orange juice and have a nasty disposition! I'm missing most of my left leg, have incurable gas and frequent seizures. Come fill my world with your love! Make me all tingly as we commit minor crimes.
(No Mexicans Please)

Hi! I'm Cookie and I have 11 cats! I only sleep with one cat though! He's my poopy shmoopy cuddly pork chop pie! Yes he is! Yes he is! I collect stickers and I like Snoopy! I have 57 Hello Kitty items! I just got the Hello Kitty Toaster! I've never been on a real date cause mom says 12 is too young! Do you mind braces?! (On my teeth and my back!) I have scoliosis!

Oh God. I'd give anything to find someone. Anyone. I don't care what you look like. I'm not much to look at myself. I've been working at Starbucks for some time and have become rather depressed. The pills help. Look even if you just came over to help me move some boxes because I think my ferret is trapped. Plus my back really itches. You know how that is. I wear a lot of black clothing because I'm a huge Nihilist. God is Dead. Isn't that cool? I have piercings and tats. One of my piercings might be infected though. I need a guy who is into body art, Red Bull and Social Distortion. I also like to watch Desperate Housewives. TV rocks.

I think a girl would do really well with #1. The last sentence alone should get her lots of attention.

What the hell is philately?

Thursday, September 01, 2005


Today I went here and gave a little bit to help out those people affected by Hurricane Katrina. I am struck, in those brief moments when I look at news coverage, by the fact that most of the people are people of color. When I first heard that the hurricane was making toward New Orleans on Sunday night I thought about visiting there and how I was struck by the disparity between the wealthy and the poor in the south and how it still seems to divide along the color line.

I haven't been looking much at coverage except for the two times A. and I went to Rick's house for dinner on Sunday and Tuesday and the new girl that he is dating insisted that we watch the coverage. While eating. I thought she said she was from New Mexico, but apparently she is from New Orleans. I don't know I'm kind of confused, she mentioned an elementary school that she went to in NOLA, but anyway it's kind of like meeting someone who is from New York for the first time, right after 9/11.

After 9/11 I watched news coverage and sat and cried and felt helpless and horrified. That's pretty much how I felt during those hours at those two dinner "parties" when I was sitting in a room with the urgent voices of the newscasters reiterating over and over again how horrible things are. So I have opted out of the obssessive news watching after tragic events for the last 4 years. It takes me to a place mentally and physically that renders me ineffective and quite frankly, I am a bummer to be around because, well, I am so bummed out by those pictures and the stories.

Instead I do a little research and find the best place to donate some money to, in the hopes that it will be put to work to alleviate some of the suffering. I make an effort to quiet my mind and hold a place for a positive vision of the future and peace and protection for all those who are suffering in the present. There are more than enough people out there speaking urgently and in dour tones about the reality of how horrible the situation is, so I'm not needed in those ranks.

If you can turn off your TV and give a little bit, to help the living keep on going, and get to a better day.