THIS INSTEAD OF THAT

I so much want to rant about the absolute insanity of these so called "family centered" groups that are getting news coverage for their statements about how Spongebob Squarepants is gay and is a secret agent for radical gay groups promoting their gay agenda. Today they've got their panties in a wad about "no name calling week," a program directed mostly toward middle schools where the most popular word in use for humiliation of one's fellow classmates is "faggot." Apparently they believe that participation in "no name calling week" will make sensitive and susceptible children decide to be gay because it calls for tolerance of kids who may be gay, and focuses on the use of the term faggot as derogatory and hurtful, when apparently they think that it's just calling a spade a spade.

Not that they support name calling mind you. It's just that they believe that schools shouldn't be supporting children who are gay in being who they are, and not allowing other kids to pick on them. I swear to God, it's in this article right here. Don't you just love how these haters get national news coverage for their poisonous message in Jesus name, amen? I would really like it better if they would stop hiding behind family values and righteous morality and just call themselves what they are - People who are Afraid in Christ's Name.

Okay enough of that. I'm going to have to find a brown bag to breathe into if I keep going down that highway because the inmates are running the asylum at this point and there's not much I can do except point out that they're pretty fucking crazy.

Switching gears to my weekend - woohoo!

I wish.

Actually it was quite nice. I got off work early and went to see In Good Company. Probably better to wait till it was released on DVD, but it was a nice way to pass a couple hours. Dennis Quaid is aging very sexily. And his performance was really good, leading me to wonder if he was acting or just being himself. I left the theater wishing he was my dad. I really liked the relationship between Scarlett Johanssen's character whose name I can't remember and Dennis' Dan Foreman. The rest of the movie - eh.

Dinner was at Lare's my very most favorite Mexican restaurant in Santa Monica. It's family owned and operated and I know everyone there so well from my frequent frequenting that I get hugs and kisses from the valet parker to the bartender and several waiters. I met my friend Kathy who had just signed her closing papers and is now a condo owner, and her mom who was visiting from Chicago. It was really fun to talk about dating. Apparently it just sucks always and forever. Her mom is widowed and over the last couple years has been getting back out there. And isn't having any better success than Kathy or I.

Got home and the fabulously talented and creative H.C. called from San Francisco. I had been thinking about her a lot and last I heard she was going to move to Austin, TX. She's been in a horse phase and the two concepts together made me think she was going to go start a new career as a barrel rider. Turns out I was on the totally wrong trail. She rides in Marin wearing jodhpurs, riding boots and one of those velvet helmets. It's so very Jackie O. H's been very busy working on a radio play that I will be sure to write about here when it's going to be broadcast. It's a very exciting project and I encouraged her to consider coming to the helltown that is Hollywood to pitch it as an animated series. And that's all I'm going to say about it because people steal. H.C. is about to stand as a bridesmaid in, I think her 17th wedding coming up soon. Lately she's been doing double duty as bridesmaid AND officiant because she's a Universal Life Church minister so she can do the ceremony. I would almost get married just to have her do that. But no bridesmaids. And I have to find a groom. And get over my fear of marriage, or rather divorce.

Speaking of divorce, Saturday I went down to La Jolla to spend the weekend with two of my oldest and favorite friends. The kind of friends that are like your family. They're both married. And they're both in marriages that are kind of teetering on the brink of divorce. J. rented an oceanfront room at the La Jolla Cove suites right across the street from the ocean and we walked from there to George's at the cove for appetizer happy hour. Then we hit the Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory where we picked up some yummy stuff and headed back to the room to watch the screening copy of Finding Neverland that I'd brought with me. K. had brought along her daughter's little portable DVD player that you can hook up to a TV. And as the clock struck 8:30 we put on our jammies and hunkered down with our chocolate - it really was reminiscent of a fifth grade slumber party. Except that the TV was from the year we really were in fifth grade and didn't have the capacity to read the input from the DVD player. So we all huddled on the pullout couch with our heads close together and watched the movie on the 5" screen.

Um, it definitely loses something when it's miniaturized, but since I'd seen it before I still bawled at the end. Felt kind of like as ass about that - like crying over something I was watching on a Blackberry.

Yesterday morning J.'s husband came to meet us for breakfast and I learned what steamed eggs are. J.'s husband is very Catholic and very conservatively republican so he and I love to engage in lively conversations wherein he says things like, "what I love about you liberals,"in a condescending tone. And I say things like, "You don't honestly believe that do you?" in an equally condescending tone. But we enjoy each other despite our massive differences of opinion on pretty much everything having to do with religion and politics. I respect him tremendously as a person, I just think he's wrong and he feels the same way about me. And I really hope that he and J. get through this rough patch and find a way to stay together and be happy.

We walked back from breakfast while J & K went for a little speedwalking and we stopped at a bakery to get a Nemo cookie for K's little girl. I mean she let us use her DVD player. Good sharing deserves a positively sugary affirmation. The bakery also served breakfast and featured lots of steamed egg dishes. I found out that you make steamed eggs with a milk steamer on a cappacuino machine. Don't that beat all? It has to be a professional quality machine or it won't work, but basically what you do is mix up your egg, put it in a cup and then stick the steamer in it and let the hot air fly until your egg is scrambled. No butter, oil or fat required and they're very tasty. With a lot of tobasco and guacamole.

K and I headed back about 11am because I wanted to watch the playoffs, of course. I was supposed to go out to Malibu again, but after that long ass drive I just couldn't face more driving. Actually I didn't see myself making it home at the end of the day. So when I checked my messages and R. had called saying he was back from Mex and watching football I went to his house instead. He's got the incredible home theater set up - In-cred-ib-le. Surround sound in every room, and high def so it's like you're sitting in the stadium. Except that I was in California where it was 75 degrees instead of Philly or Pittsburgh where there was snow piled up in huge 8 foot drifts.

I kissed him hello and had to exercise massive self control to stop the kissing. He's been sick or on vacation for the last couple weeks so I have missed him. But we're just friends. We're just friends. We're just friends. Fuck. It's so hard to be just friends - but honest to God, it's the best thing if I want him in my life. And I do because he makes me laugh and we have so much fun together. And he doesn't want to be more than friends. And I'm working on being a grown up and not settling for less than what I deserve, or trying to manipulate him into something, which is adoration and commitment. One out of two is all that's a for sure right now.

We ate pizza and drank a bottle of Zinfandel and then my stomach went bananas because pizza has cheese on it and I'm lactose intolerant but I keep forgetting that I am. I drank a little Fernet Branca which works so well to settle an upset stomach although it's basically Jaigermeister so I get frat boy drunk if I drink too much. His friends R. and A. called as they were finishing the 16th hole and they came by to watch the second game and we decided to BBQ. Opened more wine, R. made a trip to the market, I dug through the refrigerator and we whipped up a salad, chicken, steak, grilled asparagus and onions, and I made mashed potatoes with roasted garlic and horseradish dijon mustard. YUM!

The conversation was delightful because these guys, R&A, are supercool dudes who don't hang like dudes. They don't hang like chicks but they remind me of my stepdad - the actualized male who is living a conscious life and can not only identify feelings, but they're not afraid to talk about them either. They're actually perfect friends for R. who is that kind of guy. I would imagine it's got to be hard being a guy who is straight and enjoys hanging out with men, but wants to have real conversations about things that matter.

And they're all single. I have a feeling that the other thing they all have in common is that desire to date a supermodel who they can feel connected to - I'm just supposing, but that's a hard thing to find. In any case I really enjoyed hanging with them and was honored to be in the company of such men.

R and I cleaned up the kitchen and managed a less lingering kiss goodbye, accerlarated by the nuclear explosions going on in my belly because we had ice cream for dessert. One of those things where you know better and do it anyway. At least I did the ice cream and not R., they both fall in that same category. Yummy stuff you know you shouldn't mess with.

Got home and managed to stay up for a little while, but passed out at 10pm (again - I'm such a lightweight), but I was up all night with a sick belly. Totally worth it though.

Totally worth it.