Monday, May 09, 2005


I am feeling very much like that rabbit in Alice in Wonderland. The one who was late. I feel like I have so much to do and not enough time to do it in. Much of this is becaues of my propensity to overbook my days. In spite of that feeling however, I am getting things accomplished. For instance I completed the re-write on my script and sent it off to L. on Friday. I am very much looking forward to her notes and hoping that another page one rewrite will not be required. Tweaking I could handle, and in fact would welcome because I can feel that it's not quite there yet. It could be better but I'm needing guidance to get it there.

A page one rewrite would put me over the edge.

But that's getting ahead of myself. After mailing off the script I went and met my wonderful friend A.D. for snacks and beverages at the bar at Border Grill and then we walked up the street to Burke Williams where she treated me to a spa facial. I am dragging out the celebrating of the birthday to new heights. Afterwards I was not quite in my body - margarita and massage will do that to me - so I called A. and went and met him for coffee. We had plans for Saturday night but I wanted to hang with him prior for a minute to get back in our rhythm.

The whole "I want six kids and I would never marry you" conversation had been digested and processed and I realized that the fun we are having is much more the grand affair kind of fun and not the let's commit to each other and do the day to day dance. There are a number of things that made me realize this, not the least of which is that although I am falling for him, it's not in the way that precludes me being interested in other men, or possessive of him in that jealous dog way that I sometimes have.

So although I called him in the midst of the madness that is the end of the workday on Friday he came and met me and fed me and we laughed and hung out much longer than either of us anticipated which meant that I got home a lot later than I thought I would to prepare for the garage sale that was happening on Saturday. And I had a birthday party to go to at 10pm. So at that point I was about 2 hours behind.

And then when I stayed at the party until 2:30 a.m. things got progressively more and more behind as the weekend progressed which necessitated the flaking on certain activities. So while I did do the garage sale at the crack of ass on Saturday, I did not drive up to Malibu for Alexander's second party - a party I heard was fabulous, but when you're functioning on four hours of sleep and you've spent the morning saying $2 over and over again to strangers who are picking through your stuff, the idea of hanging out with a bunch of people and their kids, even with a glass of tequila in your hand, sounds like a challenge.

Then there was the cleaning of the house because L.E. is coming to stay while I'm in NYC - did I mention that I'm leaving on Wednesday and I haven't got all the stuff I need for the trip, but you know I've still got some time. The house really needed cleaning too. At 3pm it was abundantly clear that I had too much planned for Sunday, e.g. Goddess Temple, visit Diana, take Nana out for mother's day, grocery shop, so I called Teefah and told her I wouldn't be making it to the Goddess Temple most likely as that required my presence in Huntington Beach at 11:30.

A. got to my house late - he's always 30 minutes late - and I was still in my bathrobe because we hadn't yet decided what we were doing and I wanted to pick the right outfit. Plus, I was freaking exhausted. Thankfully his friend Darren, the guy with the super groovy loft 'o fun, called and said that they were going to watch Steve Zisou and then there was a party. Yay! Jeans and a t-shirt and laying around watching a movie with the option to go hang with the artsy creative types after. At this point I was really into playing it by ear.

Of course once we got to Darren's there were such interesting, genuinely nice people, and such a chill environment I ended up being "what's next" and we walked through the abandoned streets of downtown L.A. to a warehouse where there was an art show and then next door to the Bedlam Warehouse for a party. Both places were fun with that 21st century boho crowd, but just way too much cigarette smoke. Smoking has been so verboten in clubs and restaurants here for so long that I forgot what it's like to have the stench permeate your hair and your clothes. Sadly I was wearing suede which still stinks as of this morning. Gah.

Lots of fun people watching. Sara the naked angel from Darren's house was at the party channeling Theda Bara. She's not a particularly pretty girl, but she's one of those people that you can't help but stare at. The chubby bald man who was also naked the last time I saw him was also there although this time he was wearing a black jumpsuit and what looked like ear muffs on the top of his head. I was hanging with Holly, a darling redheaded artist who was wearing a white vintage victorian dress and is dating Darren - stook me up on the roof where I gratefully inhaled fresh air and hung out with the friendliest people.

It was refreshing both the people and the air but I was hit with a wave of exhaustion and inquired as to the time - 2:30 a.m. I announced that I had to leave. Right now. Because that feeling of being late for all that I had to do the next day was pervasive. Thankfully A. was on the same page and we headed home and I had weird dreams all night, a restless sleep that lasted until 10a.m. at which time he had to leave and I attempted to get up and get a move on. It took me three hours to get it together. I skipped visiting Diana and went to Nana's and took a nap on her couch. She slept too so I guess it was okay. In fact I think she was relieved that I was hip to her routine.

After we had dinner I drove back to L.A., finished some laundry, returned some phone calls and decided to blow off grocery shopping. A. called about 11pm to tell me how much he liked being with me the night before. I dittoed on the sentiment and chatted a bit longer before I began to feel coherence slipping away.

Woke up this morning feeling about 1 day behind which isn't good because I'm leaving in less than 48 hours.

I'm just feeling so late.

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