Friday, May 28, 2004


So I'm reading the Hollywood Reporter this morning and there is a review of yet another reality show that will be brought to us by NBC, because everyone, even the network that gave us critically acclaimed shows like Frasier and The West Wing (back in the day it was good and you know it), must jump on the this bandwagon to hell.

So this new show is called "The One Who Got Away" and the premise is this: Take one hunky, desirable bachelor and re-unite him with seven of the beautiful women that he has dumped. They will all live together on an estate in South Carolina and I guess the plan is that due to the romantic setting and all he will overcome his sexual addiction and commitment issues and re-unite with one of them.

Oh, and his name is Skipper and he's a bartender.

Woohoo! The girl who "wins" on this show is one lucky lady.

Without even looking I know that the producers are men. And I also know that the seven gorgeous women are going to be self absorbed, low self esteem, mental defectives because what self respecting woman would go on a show and compete against other women to be selected to be "the one" by a vacuous, albeit hunky bartender, sporting an empty expression that can maybe, if you're drunk enough, pass for deep.

First of all, I appreciate cute bartenders, I really do. I have made out with more than a few of them. I mean that's what they're there for right? You're on vacation. You get drunk. You close the bar. You make out with the bartender. And then you forget his name!!! And if you should date him and he decides to "dump" you - so what. Move on! You don't go on TV and humiliate yourself and your gender by trying to win him back!

If this situation even approximated reality and you took a commitment phobic guy, put him on an estate with seven women whom he jerked around and hurt, he could potentially get wounded. I mean physically. Think about it. What if the women are NOT the kind of chicks who spend their lives competing for the attention of men? They do not define their value based on whether or not they're in a relationship? What if the guy just had great taste in women - but is a commitmentphobic pussy - and they take all the smart women and put them together with this guy and he's going to try to win them back?

What if the women were playing another game? For money? And what if they put their heads together and just fucked with the guy till he didn't know what was going on? He's falling in love all over the place and they're playing him like a fiddle - getting him to make himself vulnerable. Sharing his deepest secrets, maybe even crying. There would be cameras all over the house where the women could watch him pitch woo at whomever he's having a special date with so they're all onto him. All the time! And they would all be comparing notes and strategizing about how to help the one who appears to be favored win!

And whichever one he picks gets a million dollars! And sends him on his way!

Now that's a show I'd watch - but unfortunately I don't think you could find that many smart, together women who'd date a bartender named Skipper.

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