AND WHAT DID YOU DO THIS WEEKEND?

Friday night started out on a good note. The perfect martini sipped on a comfy couch while waiting for my friend Ms. A, who was running late. By the time she got there I was feeling no pain at all and encouraged her to join me. We were at Houston’s in Santa Monica and while I normally eschew corporate dining establishments Houston’s is conveniently located on the Westside and is a good middle meeting spot for friends who live in opposite directions. And, really, once I’ve had a big ass martini I could care less where I am.

Once A. gets there we are seated almost immediately because I put our name in when I arrived. So we start with the spinach dip – one of the things that I really like about Houston’s, any one of them – is their spinach dip served with chips. Okay it’s not food I normally eat, but I’m not usually tipsy on martinis, believe it or not. I was dismayed to discover that they took the one thing that I order, the seared Ahi tuna salad, off the menu. This is a major bummer, because I have never ordered anything else and I’m not really excited about trying anything else. The waitress, a very sweet girl with really white teeth (making me glad I’m being diligent with my Crest white strips) explains that if I order the seared Ahi tuna entrée they can include the dressing from the salad and there is a side of tomatoes and a cabbage salad so it’s very similar. Since I can’t think of anything else and I have finished my martini and am feeling reckless and wild, I say, “why not?”

A and I have a lovely time going over her latest adventures in internet dating. She’s nursing a bit of a broken heart and what better way to move along than to get out there and date. I tried that and have since taken a vow of celibacy, but hey, everybody’s different. So by Friday she’s had 2 dates with R. I would use his real name since it’s sounding like he’s not going to be part of her reality for very long, BUT you never know. There is a level of attraction and she did like kissing him – two HUGE hurdles, but there are some things that she’s having a hard time with, like the fact that he likes her a lot. Actually it’s more like a lot to the nth degree. And it’s scaring her because he’s coming on like gangbusters and she’s not even sure. I pointed out that the last relationship she was in was with a guy who described what they were doing as “hanging out and having fun”, which could also be translated as fucking without any level of emotional responsibility, commitment or presence. You know it is really hard to go from being ignored to being adored. That adoration can feel like smothering. But then when the person who is adoring you is telling you repeatedly what a great guy he is and it’s only your second date – well that can raise some red flags. After dinner we go upstairs to the bar and have another glass of wine and talk about what an asshole the guy who broke her heart is, because that’s what friends do for each other.

I get home about midnight and fall right to sleep, after all I have a full belly, there was good conversation, not too much alcohol, just enough to feel sassy. At 3:15am I wake up and my stomach hurts. And so does my head. I take some aspirin and I roll around in bed putting off the inevitable. At 4:30am I am violently ill – and there cannot be enough emphasis on “violently” to accurately describe what I am going through. I have been food poisoned. It is a long night.

My plans for Saturday included a thorough cleaning of my humble abode, which is pretty much a sty because I haven’t been around to clean it. That didn’t happen. It was all I could do to rise from the couch and drag myself to the store to by the fixins for spinach salad for dinner that night. Not just any dinner, but a gathering of Team Tiara. A group of very special and very fun women that I am blessed to have in my life. We get together once a season to feast and dance and laugh and while we’re doing all of that we wear tiaras. I shit you not. So there was no way I was going to miss out on that. It’s not like I have to look good and they don’t care if I lay on the floor and sip my champagne out of a sippy cup. Bubbly beverages are good for upset stomachs and champagne is bubbly right? So it takes me all day to get it together and get myself in the shower – I will be clean if nothing else. As usual there was way too much food, and lots and lots of laughing and wonderful conversation. Gorgeous E. who has been selected by Maxim magazine as one of the hottest 100 women is getting married soon and she wasn’t even supposed to be there, but her fiancé wanted to spend some of the evening hanging with his brother since he will be out of town almost till the wedding. She had spent the day sulking and pouting about this development because she was expecting a romantic dinner on their last night and of course, we all understood that, but we were really happy to be able to be there for her. And we all got a kick out the fact that she’s about to marry a guy whom she initially thought of as the biggest cheeseball ever! He called her for a year before she would go out with him. And his messages were along the lines of “you know people who hang out with me generally find that their lives improve.” Ha! Of course her life has improved since she started hanging out with him so a cheeseball with confidence isn’t necessarily a bad thing – as I was trying to point out to A. the night before. Anyway, we yakked and drank and ate until 1am which is pretty much how late we always go. It’s kind of like a slumber party only we don’t stay over and sleep in sleeping bags. Yet.

Sunday I felt a little better, got my house cleaned and had a good time with my family. So all in all it was a good weekend, though I really could’ve done without the throwing up and I don’t think I’ll be heading back to Houston’s anytime soon.